The Catholic Letter

Catholic Comedy


You Know you Grew Up in a Traditional Catholic Family When:

  • Whenever a kid complains about an ache or pain, you tell them to ‘offer it up’
  • You push in front of people to get to the dinner table before others (while there’s still food left)
  • You always try to sit towards the back of a crowded room
  • You still feel guilty for eating candy during lent…but feel fine when gorging yourself on candy any other time of the year
  • When you say the Hail Mary, you say “blessed art thou” instead of “blessed are you”
  • You know of only two religions: Catholic and Non-Catholic
  • You refer to a preacher’s sermon as a homily
  • You get into intense arguments with your siblings (or anyone) but aren’t angry at them three minutes later
  • You don’t understand why nuns are often portrayed as mean old hags
  • You automatically stand up when you hear the words “peace be with you”
  • You cook huge meals even when only a few people are eating
  • In one of your rooms, you have a picture of the Sacred Heart
  • You have old palms stuffed behind that picture
  • You know the confession times for all the local churches
  • You’re uncomfortable when people talk about their ‘feelings’
  • You’re able to kneel up straight for more than ten minutes
  • You’ve never been afraid of any verbal confrontation
  • When someone announces a pregnancy, you say, “congratulations!”

The Famous Catholic Sales Letter

Did You Ever Wish You Could Always be Right?

GK Chesterton once wondered why so many people deny the existence of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, and in the same breath claim they have the ‘right’ to do something. He wrote about it over fifty years ago, but you hear the same charade today. And no matter how many free-thinkers are spewing their drooping philosophy, the general populace still accepts that there is a ‘right’ and a ‘wrong’ to everything. Their argument is over what is right and what is wrong.