Pornography Addiction and How It's Damaging Catholic Society
How To Quit Porn Addiction
The one and only way to kill the roots of pornography addiction!
Last month I made a decision: I would keep up with my flower garden this year. Generally, I just turn over the ground, plant a few things, and then forget about it. This year, I would commit myself to making our garden in the front of our house look nice.
Of course, I started with the weeds. Those little buggers are ‘oh, so pervasive.’ No matter how many times I go out and cut them away, they always come back. It was my neighbor who finally told me my problem.
“You have to get at the root,” he said. “The stem and leaves are just the part you can see, but the real life of the plant is in the roots. Those tiny little ones that are as big as hairs—they make it grow. Kill the roots, and you’ll kill the weed.”
As I dug through the ground, on a search and destroy mission, I thought about how much this was like pornography addiction. And I thought about how many men make the same mistake I had made: they think that they can eliminate the visible problem, but they never get to the roots.
The root is lust. Lust is an uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite. A sexual appetite (even a strong one) is not bad. But if it has developed into an uncontrollable urge, then it had been overfed—allowed to take deeper roots. To get back into control, those roots need to be killed.
How do you kill the roots? You cut off the little things. A lustful glance at the girl taking your order at McDonalds. A quick peek at the inappropriate DVD covers as you’re looking for a movie to watch. A few extra seconds to stare at the girl in a commercial, as you flip through the channels looking for something to watch. These are the roots. If you put a stop to them, the visible plant (pornography and masturbation) will die much quicker. If you don’t put a stop to them, the visible plant will keep coming back, and it will grow bigger and stronger every day.
That might sound kind of harsh. The idea of a man going through his day without stopping to check out a single girl is almost unrealistic these days. Every commercial, every billboard, every sitcom, every modern style—they all invite men to take notice of (and fantasize about) the female body. Many men will claim that it’s absolutely impossible NOT to look.
Even men who are deeply troubled by their porn addiction see this approach as unrealistic. Many time, I’ve heard the argument, “I have to focus on the big things right now, before I try to get control of the small things like second glances.” The men who say this NEVER have long term success. Long term success in breaking porn addiction will only come when lust unrooted and killed.
But how? How can a man (one who is very easily aroused) stop looking at girls? That’s half the population! He has to deal with them. He has to speak to them and even sometimes touch them. How is he supposed to do this without looking at them and noticing their bodies?
It’s not as difficult as you might think. It’s simply a matter of retraining the body and mind. That’s right: training. The same way you train yourself to do monotonous tasks at work. The same way you've trained your hands to do something as complicated as tying shoes. You don’t have to think about tying your shoes—you just do it. You don’t have to think about staring at women—you just do it. So why not train yourself NOT to look?
As simple as I’m making it sound, I wouldn't pretend that it’s easy. I realize it’s not. But to say it’s impossible is a gross underestimation of God’s power and of your own capabilities when you’re trying to do God’s will.
Interested?
In my book about how to break porn addiction, I have step by step instructions on how to do this. I make it practical and spiritual, so that you have a well-balanced solution to such a complicated problem.