The Catholic Answer To Common Questions About Personal Sexuality

In answer to some of the comments and questions I’ve gotten  following up on the Catholic Birth Control and Sex FAQ, I’ve decided to have another FAQ that focuses more on single life.  I’ve tried to include the most common (and often the most embarrassing) questions I could find, whether I thought them up on my own or they were asked specifically through the contact us form.

Anyway, I hope I can set a few answers straight.  Not all of the questions here are answered word-for-word through church documents and such.  In other words, the Church might not have an official teaching on all of it.  But with a simple understanding of the teachings that ARE spelled out, it’s not too difficult to understand these questions.

1. Is premarital sex a mortal sin?
2. Is masturbation a mortal sin?
3. If I’m addicted to masturbation, do I have to go to confession EVERY time I sin before receiving the Eucharist?
4. Is looking at pornography a mortal sin?
5. What if I don’t masturbate, is it still a mortal sin to look at pornography?
6. If I’m addicted to pornography, do I have to go to confession EVERY time I sin before receiving the Eucharist?
7. Is it a sin to watch a movie that has nudity scenes?
8. Is homosexuality a mortal sin?
9. Are wet dreams sinful?
10. Is foreplay sinful for an unmarried couple?
11. Is foreplay between an unmarried couple a mortal sin?

If you don't see the information you're looking for here, then try our Birth Control and Sex FAQ.

1 - Is premarital sex a mortal sin?

Yes.  It is clearly defined in paragraphs 2353 and 2396 of the catechism.

2 - Is masturbation a mortal sin?

Yes, it’s a mortal sin.  The act separates the procreative gift from the marriage relationship, so even if you’re married, mutual masturbation is not permitted.  There is some biblical reference to this in Matthew 5:27.  Here, Jesus says that whoever looks lustfully at a woman has already committed adultery in his heart.  Masturbation is indeed a fantasy, where a person commits a sexual act in the mind.  One might argue that it’s possible to commit the physical act, without thinking of a woman.  I would argue - hogwash.  But either way, it is clearly defined as a mortal sin in the catechism in paragraph 2352.

3 - If I’m addicted to masturbation, do I have to go to confession EVERY time I sin before receiving the Eucharist?

This is one of those gray areas.  The fact that it has become habitual does not take away from the objective seriousness of the sin.  But in some circumstances, there might be subjective leniency.  The same way we wouldn’t automatically assume that someone who has committed suicide goes to hell—certain psychological problems might lessen a sinner’s responsibility.

One of the problems with addiction and habit, is that you can easily get caught in a vicious circle while trying to fight the temptations.  After all, receiving Holy Communion will give you the grace to deal with the habit.  But (assuming you go to Mass once a week) if you sin on Saturday, and don’t have a chance to go to confession before Sunday, you miss Holy Communion… hence you have even less grace to deal with this problem throughout the week.  By the next Saturday (which is when most parishes offer a time to go to confession) you might have made matters worse.

If you have this problem, your best bet is to talk to your priest the next time you’re in confession, and ask for his guidance.  Let him know you have an addiction, and that you keep missing your chance to go to Communion.

4 - Is looking at pornography a mortal sin?

Yes.  As defined in the Catechism in paragraph 2354, it is a mortal sin.

5 - What if I don’t masturbate, is it still a mortal sin to look at pornography?

Yes.  It’s not the physical act of masturbation that makes pornography sinful.  Pornography is an offence to the dignity of God’s gift.  It also offends the dignity of all the people involved.  It reduces the dignified woman to a simple object of pleasure (I’m making assumptions here—generally, it is men who are looking at pornographic pictures of women).  It also pollutes the mind of the beholder, creating a fantasy about sex and reducing it to something it will never be.  Finally, it is an abuse of the body, which is a temple of the Holy Spirit, and should at all times be treated with respect.

In short, a woman has no right to show herself that way, vendors have no right to sell it, and you have no right to look.

6 - If I’m addicted to pornography, do I have to go to confession EVERY time I sin before receiving the Eucharist?

See the answer to the same question dealing with masturbation.

7 - Is it a sin to watch a movie that has short nudity scenes?

In today’s culture, it is impossible to go throughout life without seeing at least SOME images that are offensive to God.  But at the same time, we must learn to guard our vision, for it will lead us to sin if left unchecked.  With great diligence, we should try to avoid films that we know will contain lots of nudity.  In times when short scenes might intrude on an otherwise wholesome film (for example, in the movie Schindler’s List), we should at practice diverting our attention away from such scenes.  And of course, parents should prevent their children from seeing such movies at all until they are of a proper age.

That’s not exactly a direct answer, is it?  The truth is, there might not be one.  You yourself know the difference between a nude scene in a good movie, and a movie that is pornographic.  The difference between the two can’t always be spelled out on paper, but any man watching will know by how enticed he feels.

8 - Is homosexuality a mortal sin?

It depends on what you mean by “homosexuality”.  If you’re referring to the attraction a person feels towards members of their own sex, then of course not.  Even if that person is tempted sexually.  After all, temptation is not a sin.  And no person can help their inclinations, even if they are unusual or foreign to a culture.

If you’re referring to sex between two members of the same sex, then yes.  After all, fornication is a sin, and since two members of the same sex cannot be married, it can never be anything but a mortal sin.

If you’re referring to certain romantic activities that lean towards sex but aren’t sex (like kissing or hugging) then they would be in a gray area that hasn’t quite be defined.  On one hand, most forms of foreplay outside of marriage (like a long, opened mouth kiss) is a mortal sin.  So it would be the same between a couple of the same sex.

On the other hand, short kisses and embraces between a man and a woman aren’t sinful at all.  But in the case of two members of the same sex, it goes against the natural order of romantic love.  The fulfillment of romance is marriage.  But there can never be any marriage between two members of the same sex.

In Romans 1:27 (the most quoted text when discussing homosexuality) Paul does not specify sexual intercourse as the sin.  Instead he says, “And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.”  The way it is mentioned here, any “romantic” activity between two members of the same sex would be considered a mortal sin.  As mentioned in Leviticus 18:22, homosexuality is more than just a sin—it is an abomination.  So giving in to the sin at all, even is not having intercourse, would be a grave sin.

9 - Are wet dreams sinful?

No.  They aren’t even venial sins.  Even if the dream itself seems abominable, yet you are aware of 'enjoyment' in the dream.  Thomas Aquinas describes it in his Summa as “nocturnal pollution” and clearly shows the act as not sinful.  The catechism makes no mention of it.

If you don't see the information you're looking for here, then try our Birth Control and Sex FAQ.

10 - Is foreplay sinful for an unmarried couple?

Yes.  As quoted in the Catechism, "every species of immodesty and impurity are included in this prohibition of adultery."  This would include touching, and even long kisses (if they cause great temptation--and they generally do).  The easiest way to discern is this: if you normally feel yourself getting aroused in that situation, then you've gone to far and have sinned.  Of course, sometimes we are easily aroused because of moods, and if we do something innocent, and it arouses us, that would not count as a sin--so long as we stop there.

11 - Is foreplay between an unmarried couple a mortal sin?

Yes... depending on how 'far' you go.  But you might consider it this way:  if Christ walked in on you during a foreplay 'session' would you honestly be able to say you have been chaste and are pure?  The spirit of the law is that you remain chaste.